By Brendan Nelson
Once I go 10-2, I might come back next week and humblebrag.
DALLAS -1.5 OVER CAROLINA
Jason Garrett gets fired if he loses this game. Something to think about, Jason Garrett.
CLEVELAND +3.5 OVER INDIANAPOLIS
Jesse Pinkman from “Breaking Bad” wouldn’t watch this game with an endless supply of meth.
NEW ORLEANS -2.5 OVER TAMPA BAY
I just don’t like taking Josh Freeman over Drew Brees. Plus, the Saints are off a bye, and you know, that means something.
WASHINGTON +6.5 OVER NEW YORK
Don’t the Giants never cover these games??? What am I missing???
BALTIMORE +6.5 OVER HOUSTON
I like when FOX showed Ray Lewis in street clothes on the sidelines during the meltdown against Dallas, the announcers failed to say a word about what happened. Scott Hanson needs a raise, right now.
ST. LOUIS +5.5 OVER GREEN BAY
Bigger douche: Aaron Rodgers or Justin Verlander?
ARIZONA +6.5 MINNESOTA
I’m pretty sure John Skelton delivered me a pizza from Papa John’s at 2 a.m. this past weekend. Yes, I stole that joke. From RJ in Vegas, NFC dogs are like 34-4 straight up or something. Aren’t the Cardinals kinda good?
TENNESSEE +3.5 OVER BUFFALO
If you haven’t seen this clip, you need to watch.
NEW ENGLAND -10.5 OVER NEW YORK
I’M NOT TAKING MARK SANCHEZ ON THE ROAD AGAINST BILL BELICHICK OFF A LOSS. I’M NOT TAKING MARK SANCHEZ ON THE ROAD AGAINST BILL BELICHICK OFF A LOSS. I’M NOT TAKING MARK SANCHEZ ON THE ROAD AGAINST BILL BELICHICK OFF A LOSS.
JACKSONVILLE +4.5 OVER OAKLAND
Remember when Carson Palmer was a Pro Bowl quarterback? Or how about, when have the Jaguars nailed a draft pick?
PITTSBURGH -2.5 OVER CINCINNATI
If I had lots and lots of monies, I would bet on the Pittsburgh Steelers in this game. I KINDA like them.
CHICAGO -5.5 OVER DETROIT
How does America react when we watch Jay Cutler hold up the Lombardi trophy while embracing Kristin Cavallari? I think about these things before I go to sleep at night.