Agony of the Pirates

As some of you may know, yesterday was national talk like a Pirate day. RJ just happens to be a Pirates fan and every year he tells me how they’re going to beat the Cardinals and every September they’re irrelevant. Here are his thoughts on this turmoil.

My prediction this year was the same prediction I make every year. “The Pittsburgh Pirates will win the National League pennant.” So far I have been wrong every year but when it does finally happen, I will look like a genius. Right now I am just praying to see eight more wins.
Eight wins. That’s all my beloved Pittsburgh Pirates need to avoid a 20th consecutive losing season. Ever since Sid Bream slid across home plate in the 1992 NLCS, the Bucco faithful have not seen their team win 82 games. 1992!

In 1992 gas cost $1.05 per gallon, Bill Clinton was getting settled into the White House and people were pumped to watch new movies like Aladdin on VHS (Aladdin seen here). I personally can not remember the last time the Pirates were considered “winners.” Last year the black and gold boys of summer got off to a hot start, only to collapse after the all-star break to secure losing season number 19. This year the Pirates got themselves to 16 games over .500. They couldn’t possibly collapse again this year, right? Actually they could. The Bucs currently sit at 74-74 after the worst slide since Kelly Shoppach (the horrible slide).

It’s 2012, gas is pushing $4 a gallon, and the lack of new movie ideas has forced theaters to play old flicks in 3D, but the Pirates are still losing. So if you need something to cheer for other than your favorite competitive ball team, cheer for the Pirates to get just eight more wins.


One thought on “Agony of the Pirates

  1. Teams such as The Mets and The Pirates should band together to form an agreement, or covenant, if you will. What’s does this covenant entail you ask? This agreement is all about not having an All-Star break. Every year, the Mets and Pirates should schedule a series for the week of all star break, that way, there is no “since the All Star break” collapse.

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